there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize