just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize