Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
