Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Still dying that you shit outside
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Randomize
