Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize