Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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