Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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