He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
