THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
