I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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