dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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