What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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