If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
