If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I just googled if crying burns calories
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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