Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize