the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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