So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
she pinky promised me she was 18
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
