Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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