I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize