I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
