hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
