i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
