I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
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