it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
