Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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