we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
