Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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