dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
