Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
