I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
