Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
