Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
