Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
