I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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