I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
