i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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