can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
