I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
