Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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