I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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