What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
