Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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