I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
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