Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
