that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
