I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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