I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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