OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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