i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize