Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
