when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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