i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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