great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize