I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
where are you?
Hypothermia
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
