Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
