His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
