Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
