Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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